The headline would read: 2 Floods in Laundry Room cause major Laundry Backup.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Wordless Wednesday...not so much.
I just can't remain wordless this Wednesday! I can't even contain my excitement.
The Lumberguy and I have remained friends even though we are no longer in a relationship. We actually have tea every morning at 10am. This morning at tea time we were talking and I just realized how far I've come. How happy I really am. I mean, from the place I was in 4 months ago, there's nowhere to go but up, right? I don't think that he's in the same place I am though. Even though he was the one who drove the break up, and the first to look for another relationship, and the first to try to regain his old 'pre Deklan' lifestyle with the going out/drinking with friends. I have realized that how 'well' I am doing, or seem to be doing (depending on the day) is not a reflection of how much I miss Deklan. I miss him terribly. Every. single. second. of every. single. day. Being depressed is not going to bring him back. If there was a way to bring him back trust me, I would have found it because I have played out every possible scenario in my head. But me not living my life to the absolute fullest, well that would just be a waste. I felt like I could have died right there with him. That was how much losing him hurt. But I CHOSE life. In the beginning it was merely surviving, but now I feel like I'm living. And it feels great!
When I first got back from being away with him, I felt like I didn't fit here in my old life anymore. I needed a change. I talked to The Lumberguy about wanting to go home. By home, I mean being closer to my family where I grew up. I didn't know how I was going to do it and maybe it was just a wish at first. I got busy with life and kids and home...well I just got busy trying to live again. In the back of my mind was still this idea of 'going home'.
Ok, so finally here comes the excitement part! I'm going HOME for the summer! I don't know where I'm going to live, or how exactly its going to work, but I'm going. Its going to be my hippie summer. My summer of freedom. Love. Happiness. My sister works at a resort during the summer that is 10 minutes from our hometown. This year she is in charge of hiring, and I'm going to work with her. I'm only going to work enough to pay my bills here, and take care of any expenses I'll incur being away. The rest of the time is going to be spent with barefooted children, on the beach, at the pool, living life. Life, beautiful life! I'll be close to almost everyone I love. Close to my new baby nephew, coming in June. Close to the grandmother I adore. Close to the mother who could definitely use the help of an able bodied daughter.
Secretly I hope to find the farm I have been looking for for over a year, and come back here only to sell my house and pack my most precious belongings. So there, universe, I said it out loud. But I'll have a job to come home to should I need it. And I have my home, which I own, and a few friends here. Its not that I am not happy here. I just want to live my dream life. And I'm ready to do what I need to do to find out what that dream is exactly. I have always had a rough idea, but I am so very excited to make it into reality.
The Lumberguy and I have remained friends even though we are no longer in a relationship. We actually have tea every morning at 10am. This morning at tea time we were talking and I just realized how far I've come. How happy I really am. I mean, from the place I was in 4 months ago, there's nowhere to go but up, right? I don't think that he's in the same place I am though. Even though he was the one who drove the break up, and the first to look for another relationship, and the first to try to regain his old 'pre Deklan' lifestyle with the going out/drinking with friends. I have realized that how 'well' I am doing, or seem to be doing (depending on the day) is not a reflection of how much I miss Deklan. I miss him terribly. Every. single. second. of every. single. day. Being depressed is not going to bring him back. If there was a way to bring him back trust me, I would have found it because I have played out every possible scenario in my head. But me not living my life to the absolute fullest, well that would just be a waste. I felt like I could have died right there with him. That was how much losing him hurt. But I CHOSE life. In the beginning it was merely surviving, but now I feel like I'm living. And it feels great!
When I first got back from being away with him, I felt like I didn't fit here in my old life anymore. I needed a change. I talked to The Lumberguy about wanting to go home. By home, I mean being closer to my family where I grew up. I didn't know how I was going to do it and maybe it was just a wish at first. I got busy with life and kids and home...well I just got busy trying to live again. In the back of my mind was still this idea of 'going home'.
Ok, so finally here comes the excitement part! I'm going HOME for the summer! I don't know where I'm going to live, or how exactly its going to work, but I'm going. Its going to be my hippie summer. My summer of freedom. Love. Happiness. My sister works at a resort during the summer that is 10 minutes from our hometown. This year she is in charge of hiring, and I'm going to work with her. I'm only going to work enough to pay my bills here, and take care of any expenses I'll incur being away. The rest of the time is going to be spent with barefooted children, on the beach, at the pool, living life. Life, beautiful life! I'll be close to almost everyone I love. Close to my new baby nephew, coming in June. Close to the grandmother I adore. Close to the mother who could definitely use the help of an able bodied daughter.
Secretly I hope to find the farm I have been looking for for over a year, and come back here only to sell my house and pack my most precious belongings. So there, universe, I said it out loud. But I'll have a job to come home to should I need it. And I have my home, which I own, and a few friends here. Its not that I am not happy here. I just want to live my dream life. And I'm ready to do what I need to do to find out what that dream is exactly. I have always had a rough idea, but I am so very excited to make it into reality.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Wordless Wednesday
I became a mother 12 years ago, today. Happy Birthday BedHead.She is better on the computer than I am, and has hidden all her "self portraits" somewhere.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Ramblings of a Mother
How great life would be to see it through the eyes of a child! To love with reckless abandon. To live life with enthusiasm. To play and be happy every day. To have a fresh outlook, without the cynicism that seems to come with age.
That is the life I want to strive for. I want to foster that zest for life in my children. To lead by example is key, I think. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. So all I have to do is strive for happiness and fulfilment in my own life. Teaching respect by giving respect. Its kind of win win.
It was a counsellor who pointed out to me that I have little to no memories of childhood before age 11. The fact that I blocked everything as a subconscious self preservation mechanism was a huge revelation. My past had somehow been dictating the kind of people I let into my life. How I lived my life up until now. But it doesn't have to anymore. I want my kids to remember the Chubby Checker twist competitions (insane exercise, btw) and the tea parties. I don't want them to feel that they have to censor who they are. I want them to trust their instincts. I want to give them the confidence and values it took me almost a decade and a tonne of hard life lessons to acquire.
Instead of getting to my dishes, I have been dreaming about the adults my children are going to become.
That is the life I want to strive for. I want to foster that zest for life in my children. To lead by example is key, I think. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. So all I have to do is strive for happiness and fulfilment in my own life. Teaching respect by giving respect. Its kind of win win.
It was a counsellor who pointed out to me that I have little to no memories of childhood before age 11. The fact that I blocked everything as a subconscious self preservation mechanism was a huge revelation. My past had somehow been dictating the kind of people I let into my life. How I lived my life up until now. But it doesn't have to anymore. I want my kids to remember the Chubby Checker twist competitions (insane exercise, btw) and the tea parties. I don't want them to feel that they have to censor who they are. I want them to trust their instincts. I want to give them the confidence and values it took me almost a decade and a tonne of hard life lessons to acquire.
Instead of getting to my dishes, I have been dreaming about the adults my children are going to become.
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