The Stepford Wives

I had the enormous pleasure of working last night. At one point it felt like the clock was actually ticking backwards. I guess I should probably tell you what I do for a living. I am a bartender/server at a private club.

I used to bar tend in a bar, but, as I put it to my boss when I gave my notice, if I stayed working there putting up with all the patrons' bs i was going to turn into a raging bitch. It was like babysitting adults really. So I found this new job doing the same thing for way less money. But the difference is since it is a members only club, there are rules and standards of behaviour expected. My boss and co workers are great, and the customers are awesome. One of them brought peanut butter cookies for us at work last night. And regulars give us bonuses at Christmas. This is separate and apart from any sort of wage, they just do it because they appreciate the service. Unlike the last establishment I worked in. There it was like because you were the servant it gave customers licence to dump on you. I got absolutely sick and tired of the stigma attached to working in a bar. The reason I started to work there was because the hours were right. Mr. Maker and I were married and he worked days. He was really good about the bed time routine and had no problem getting four little kids into bed like clockwork. They got to sleep in their own beds and didn't have to go to daycare. I went to work at 6 and they were in bed at 8, so it was less time away from my little makers. I worked the bulk of my hours while they slept. But in this ass backwards town people had to make it scandalous. To them I was there for a good time. Not my idea of a good time, people! After he and I separated it wasn't as relevant anymore, but the money was so good, it was hard to leave. Now I only work enough to pay my mortgage. I'm experimenting with the budget to see if it is financially feasible to work even less. And I just noticed I am way off topic.

Last night, it was quite slow at work and it left me time to notice a few things. There was a table of 8 women. They are all moms of kids the same age as mine. I noticed 5 out of 8 of them had the same haircut. All of them each have two children. They all work days and their children go to some form of daycare. What is this place I'm living in? Not that I have a problem with any of them, I find them to be quite personable. I just noticed how different I am. And not that different is better or worse, its just different.

And this got me thinking. I'm never gonna be one of the Stepford wives. My hair is long and natural and usually worn in a bun. (read boring) My ratio of guy friends and girlfriends is pretty much even. I couldn't see myself enjoying an evening out discussing outfits and purses. I quite enjoy the company of the older ladies from church. There are people out here in my middle of nowhere small town that I do like, but there are few I spend time with. There is no part of me that feels the need to fit in or conform. I choose to live in a small town. And I know that comes with the double edged sword of knowing (or thinking you know) everyone. I'm not going to judge anyone for their differences. I wish it was a two way street, but accepting my own differences and knowing that I may be the topic of discussion because of them and not having a problem with it, I feel, is a huge step in personal growth.

And while 'the haircut' is very stylish and trendy, I'll be keeping my librarian hair.