The Ramblings of a Mother

How great life would be to see it through the eyes of a child! To love with reckless abandon. To live life with enthusiasm. To play and be happy every day. To have a fresh outlook, without the cynicism that seems to come with age.

That is the life I want to strive for. I want to foster that zest for life in my children. To lead by example is key, I think. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. So all I have to do is strive for happiness and fulfilment in my own life. Teaching respect by giving respect. Its kind of win win.

It was a counsellor who pointed out to me that I have little to no memories of childhood before age 11. The fact that I blocked everything as a subconscious self preservation mechanism was a huge revelation. My past had somehow been dictating the kind of people I let into my life. How I lived my life up until now. But it doesn't have to anymore. I want my kids to remember the Chubby Checker twist competitions (insane exercise, btw) and the tea parties. I don't want them to feel that they have to censor who they are. I want them to trust their instincts. I want to give them the confidence and values it took me almost a decade and a tonne of hard life lessons to acquire.

Instead of getting to my dishes, I have been dreaming about the adults my children are going to become.